Submissions 2nd December 2013

Bugger! D'ya remember The Great Escape, I wonder if the BBC will relent and give it a Xmas airing this year? My favourite part is Steve McQueen's bid for freedom on a stolen German motorcycle that conveniently changes from a wartime BMW lump, into a nimble 500cc Triumph when stunt antics are called for, ah the magic of cinema. Unfortuantly Stevie didn't even get past the perimeter goons this time, being waylayed on the first read. Hilts is the character's name if you're trying to recall, he's the one every school kid identifies with, even though if we were honest, we've actually got more in common with the hapless Flying Officer Ives, who was played by the same actor who portrayed the interloper Shuey McPhee, he who deposed Mr. Lovejoy as head chef at The Crossroads Motel.

I think I might've emulated Ives's doomed assault on the barbed wire in full view of the guard, I submitted something I knew had no real chance but I thought its brevity might get it front of an editor's peepers, no such luck. It wasn't a completely fruitless experience, this was my first go with this outlet, an on-line sf journal, and it's been a while since I've done anything like this. They had a pretty organised submission process, probably the best I've encountered and they were very prompt with the rejection. No clues on the reaction to the story, unless you read something  into the inclusion of a link to the submission guidelines. On a positive note, there was no instruction to delay further submissions, although that could simply be because they've closed that process until the new year.

I've crossed 'em off my list of prospects for moment because although I did do some research into what they were publishing, I was relying on older material. All the new stuff has moved into The Chintz Light Zone,  my nick name for Mills & Boon dressed up as sf. Not that I don't appreciate romantic fiction or even produce it occasionally it's just that this particular genre drift caught me out, I think that's a forgiveable error, who'd expect the intergalactic robot crew to turn to things like: "...my heart raced as I found he was kissing me..."?

Submissions

If you're a jotter of meagre accomplishment like me, you'll be familiar with the soul crushing experience of submissions. Unfortuantly when you're the only one with the insight to recognise you're a gifted creative genius, the process tends to be something you find yourself avoiding with increasing consistency. One of the problems for me is the wide variation in submission guidelines circulated by prospective publishers, being somewhat disorganised, it's something of a problem to keep the drafts in their pigeon holes. This time I got round the problem by submitting to a publisher who wouldn't except simultaneous submissions, which is something you want to avoid really since turnaround times seem to draw out forever. At least this publisher promises a prompt rejection notice, which is something that mitigates that problem, most of 'em don't even bother with that.

One thing I can say though, is that at least writers don't have put up with quite the same anguish as illustrators. There's something about the visual arts that draws out the very worst of things like professional envy and petty sniping and that's main reason I kicked that world into the bin, I just couldn't hack the aerosols that permeate the air, so to speak. This latest effort is going to fail, I'm sure of that but it's like buying lottery tickets. You know there's no realistic chance of success but there's just a moment, maybe less than a second, when you're assurance that you'll win is absolute and that's the best feeling in the world, a feeling that, when confident your fortitude can sustain you, you'll bare the soul crushing gladly for.